4 Ways to Effectively Encourage Kids

Kids can smell a phony a mile away. After I would attempt to build up my children following a disappointment or even an event that went well, my kids used to say, “You’re my mom. You have to say that. You don’t count.” So… I have learned to make my words COUNT.

When we encourage our children, we must be honest. 

Often when we give our children words of encouragement, we generalize. We will say, “Good job!” Or  “Way to go!” Sometimes we may even fake it, “Oh, you did that really well.” (When they really didn’t.)

Romans 12: 9 gives parents the best advice for speaking words that make a difference. It says, “Love must be sincere.”  

Being sincere and specific are the best ways to impact our kids. 

“All the colors you used in your drawing really makes the scenery pop. Beautiful.”

Here are four more tips to effectively impact and motivate your children over the course of their lives.

H : Be humble and honest in your approach. Admit you are not perfect. No one can do everything well. You may even want to ask, “What do you think needs improvement?”

E : Show empathy while being effective. Listen to your child when he is expressing frustration with a particular task. Then offer up guidance and show your child how to navigate the experience. “How can I help you?” or “Here is a way in which you can do this.”

A:  Express your affection by speaking words of affirmation. Let your child know you have confidence in his abilities, that he is capable.  “I know you can manage this task, you possess the quality of determination.”

R: Relate to your child by spending recreational time together. Hang-out and have fun together. Give him the present of your presence.

As parents, we desire to positively influence our children. In order to do so we must be real not “stinky” while we are building them up.

And let’s remember to…. H.E.A.R.

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up…
1 Thessalonians 5:11a

Lori Wildenberg
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Lori Wildenberg

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Lori is passionate about helping families build connections that last a lifetime. Lori connects with her audience using her natural warmth, transparency, humor, and straight-forward, faith-filled approach. She is a licensed parent and family educator, co-founder of 1 Corinthians 13 Parenting ( https://www.1corinthians13parenting.com ), author, parent consultant, and national speaker. Lori is the lead mentor mom at Moms Together
( https://www.facebook.com/MomsTogether/ ),a Facebook community. She contributes to many on-line and print magazines including: Crosswalk, Christian Parenting, Just Between Us, and MTL (More to Life). Her 4th and most recent book,Messy Journey: How Grace and Truth Offer the Prodigal a Way Home can be found on most on-line and brick and mortar stores. Amazon link ( https://www.amazon.com/Messy-Journey-Grace-Truth-Prodigal/dp/1625915233/ref ). Mostly, Lori is wife to Tom and mom of four, plus one daughter-in-love.The Wildenbergs’ home is nestled in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. For more information on Lori, her parenting ministry, or to contact her head over to https://loriwildenberg.com/
Lori Wildenberg
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