Five Words For An Angry and Defiant Child
What does an angry child need to hear you say?
“I Am On Your Side.”
Children don’t want to be lectured, criticized, or corrected. They don’t always need mom or dad to solve the issue for them. Instead they want to be understood. Who doesn’t?
The worse thing that a parent can do is engage in an argument with an angry child. When we speak with our emotions, we come across foolish in our words, tone, and actions. When this happens we lose our credibility with our child.
It’s challenging to show empathy, kindness, and patience with a son or daughter who is being defiant and mean. However it’s important to not fall in the trap and instead go take a break from them, walk away, and talk to them when they settle down.
Give an angry child space to work it out. Give yourself time to calm down. Things don’t have to be resolved right away.
As parents we don’t have to agree with our child’s choices or actions. It’s our job to teach and train, it’s just not a good idea to do that in the midst of their acting out in anger. When we tell them that we are on their side, we are reminding them that we are for them and not against them. We are reassuring them that we have their back and we want the best for them. When we walk away from an argument, we are showing them that we are not their peer who they can fight with, instead we are an adult who is in control and we only engage when they are willing to receive our parental support.
There is no reason for a child and parent to fight against one another. We need each other. Every child needs to have a parent that they can count on to be on their side.
“I am on your side!” “I am on your side!”