Stop Arguing Before Your Head Falls Off


Kids arguing or throwing an attitude when asked to do something isn’t only annoying, but wrong and needs to be corrected.    To allow kids to do this without addressing it will encourage selfishness, disrespect and teach them that it’s o.k. to not honor authority.    Can you imagine your child when they turn seventeen-years-old getting fired from his or her job when he or she argues with his boss?    I can’t, and therefore I correct my kids when they argue.  I want my nine-year-old and seven-year-old to be successful in life.  I want them to serve and obey with a willing heart to give with a big smile.    Kids don’t grow out of arguing, without correction, it only gets worse.

When I ask my kids to do chores, school work, follow instructions, and complete a task correctly, I expect them to say, “Yes mom!”  and I’d like them to add, “I’d be happy to help mom!”  

Stop Arguing

I confront them when they make a snotty remark, ugly defiant face, or get angry.   I stop them in their tracks and we don’t move on with our day until they respond back correctly.    We are work in progress, but we have come a long way.    They understand why they must do what is asked and they agree that it is best to do so.  We are a family that desires to live life loving one another and applying the Bible to guide us.    And this is how we do it at our house!

I sat down with my kids and told them that they need to learn how to respond correctly when they are told to do something.   I helped them see how their response to others will impact their relationships now and in the future.  We discussed how God calls us to do the right thing even when we don’t understand why.

I also explained that arguing is not always bad either.

Everyone wants to be heard and understood.  Kids need to know that their voice, opinion, and ideas matter and they need to understand when it’s appropriate to voice their thoughts.  I tell my kids to obey first and then come back and share their thoughts with me after they do what they are told.

Stop Arguing Before Everything Becomes an Argument

For change to take place, we must be intentional about training our children to respond respectfully and do their chores and school work when told.  They need to come when asked and put down their own activity without getting all grumpy about it.    When they see that we are serious about this, they will begin to realize that how they act does matter.    Kids need to know that they need to be ready to receive instructions.

Kids need to make themselves available to receive instructions.  They need to know in their mind that following instructions is part of being responsible.   And in their heart, they will grow to want to follow instructions and do what is being asked of them well.

When Kids put their wants aside and do a task without a bad attitude, we can be confident that our kids will do an excellent job in life. 

Tip on how to get started.

Practice the correct response with you kids today.  Make a game out of it, tell them that you are going to ask them to do something and then tell them how you want them to respond.     Play follow instruction games with correct response for a couple of days and several times a day.

In time it will become natural and some days will be easier than others.  Things like this take time and it could take months.   Just know that even though things don’t appear to be changing on the outside, they are changing on the inside.  Keep doing the right thing even when you don’t see results right away.  Slow and steady!

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Lisa Brown

Lisa is an aspiring writer with a mother's passion for Homeschool Education and is also a Parent Coach. She has an 9 yr. old son, a 7 yr. old daughter, and has been married to her husband for 10+ yrs.Prior to marriage, she worked over 20 yrs. enriching the lives of hundreds of children and families. Lisa has a Bachelors in Social Work and Early Childhood Education.
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