Parenting The Heart Of Our Children
What is your parenting approach? I don’t know about you all but I’m learning daily new approaches. It’s an ongoing process. Some things I try work and other things just make life messy. As parents we do what we know and what we are familiar with. We parent like we been parented. Does your approach work? Or do you find yourself fed up and frustrated? Your not alone if you feel this way. I was until I took a children’s heart work approach.
How often do you find yourself saying this. “I’ve tried everything and nothing is working.” I get it! I reached that place about four months ago. I went before the Lord and I said, “God I don’t know what to do. My kids don’t listen to me. They get angry and frustrated when I ask them to do something. I’m tired God and I need help with parenting.”
I felt God touch my heart and comfort me. God started working with my heart. He showed me the sin in my heart and gently helped me see the importance of repenting. God helped me change my attitude. He gave me a new perspective. As God begin working on my heart it dawned on me that my children’s heart also needs some working on.
So I started praying for my children’s hearts to be transformed. One day God impressed upon me to change my parenting approach and work on my children’s heart. God is in the business of heart change but He calls parents to direct and point children to do the right thing.
God Sent Help to Help Me With Parenting
I’m pretty good with discipline ideas and coming up with consequences. We use behavior modification all the time but there is more. I didn’t know that until I bumped into a parenting coach Coach Ed Miller
I shared my frustrations with him about parenting. He encouraged me to teach my children to honor one another. So for several weeks I did just that and it’s an ongoing theme in our home still today and will always be. I’m seeing great results!
My parenting coach led me to an amazing Coaching Program that I’m part of now. The material focuses on parenting the heart and I’m growing. My family is changing. Right now I’m reading Parenting is Heart Work Wow! I’m not even half way through it and I feel like I’m becoming a heartfelt loving parent. I’m speaking to the heart of my children and they are transforming.
I’d like to share a tip today that I have been working on. And I’m so thankful for the National Center For Biblical Parenting for coaching me with great tips like this one.
Parenting Tip – Heart Work
We need to help our children learn to cooperate by doing what they are asked to do. Kids who don’t follow directions and respond with a grumpy or defiant attitude need heart work. So everyday at our house we practice following directions. When I ask them to do something they need to respond with, “Yes Mom” . Then they need to stop whatever they are doing and go do it. When they finish they need to report back to me.
This is so hard for my two kids. They don’t want to be interrupted and told what to do. They have moments where they don’t complete their work. Sometimes they whine or get mad. But this Heart Work approach is making a difference.
They need lots of practice. So I ask them several times a day to do a chore. When they complain I give them more.
This is important heart work because in reality our children will need to cooperate with a good attitude if they want to keep their job. I tell my kids this all the time. Part of heart work is helping our children understand why we are doing what we are doing.
This message is sinking deep into my children’s heart.
My son has started doing work around the house without being told. When I asked him what was going on in his heart he said something like this, “God is hugging me and when I grow up I don’t want to get fired from my job.”
Our home is a safe place to make mistakes and learn how to do the right thing.
We build character by practicing.
If you would like to learn more about this approach I would like to encourage you to check out the Parenting Is Heart Work book and workbook. Parenting is Heart Work – Training Manual
Parenting Quote for the day!
“Teach your children to receive instructions so that they’ll learn to obey God.” pg.17 in Parenting Is Heart Work Training Manual. Training Manual with Eight 45-Minute Audio Sessions
In the training manual parents learn how to give instructions without being bossy and when to give instructions. It’s all about building relationship!
Parenting is Heart Work and God cares about our Heart. We can point our Children to God and help them be successful by daily coaching our children to do what is right.