Stop Disrespectful Back Talk Now

Kids who make disrespectful comments to their parents on a regular basis when asked to do something need a heart adjustment.  In cases like this parents need to be firm and develop a strategic plan for their unmotivated child or teen.   Parents easily get frustrated with this, so much so, that they find themselves getting angry and lecturing in hope that their son or daughter will come to their senses.  When all the lecturing and punishing in the world doesn’t change things for the better they feel like failures and in some situations parents give in to avoid conflict.

Many parents ignore this kind of behavior because after all it’s the age and that is what kids do.  This is a horrible excuse, even though kids do tend to act this way, it doesn’t make it right and they must be corrected or this behavior will continue.  Don’t let others tell you that your son or daughter will grow out of it because they will not unless you correct them now.

Some parents will even go as far as saying this, “Why correct my son or my daughter when they back talk, as long as they get the work done, why should it matter?”   I used to think this too, until the back talk turned ugly, constant arguing kept us from getting anything done and anger filled the air like hot lava pouring out of an erupted volcano.   I refuse to point a finger to any one family member, we were all guilty of handling our frustration in anger, we were a hot sloppy mess, but no more.  I’ll just add this one thing to make a point, does this sound familiar, “Just do it or else….”  This is usually followed by a comment like this, “You can’t make me do it and I refuse to.”

Back talk comes from a bad attitude.   It’s in our heart that attitude is transformed.   Kids at all ages need to know that when they are asked to do something they need to respond with a “yes” and go do it.  When they do it with a bad attitude they need to be confronted, this helps them slow down and realize that their behavior is wrong.

Kids back talk because they don’t like to stop what they are doing, selfishly they are inconsiderate of others and make hurtful remarks.   Parents often are unsure how to respond to this and they react back with a hurtful remark, threat, or punitive punishment.   There are better ways to respond to kids who back talk without shaming them or getting angry.  A matter a fact I’ve learned several parenting strategies that teach kids to think about others and not just themselves, to do what is more than expected, and to get their heart right before the Lord.

The strategies that I’m offering to share with you have worked wonders in our family.   My kids know that they are not off the hook if they back talk to me, even if they just throw a tiny attitude toward me, when making a face they are wheeled in and kindly corrected, I request they take a break by themselves, do nothing except focus on their attitude, think of a better way to act and come back to me when they are ready to respond to my request properly, life will not move on until they respond respectfully.

My kid’s hearts are changing and after several months of implementing new strategies, they now don’t like having a bad attitude, they know that it causes them to back talk and do sloppy jobs.  They used to not care until I started correcting them the minute they back talked.   I’m here to testify with confidence that if parents would fight the good fight and correct back talk strategically, their kids will be more inclined to transform.   The strategies I share with you are tried and true.  Other parents have used similar strategies with remarkable success too. 

Team Player Mentality

Parenting is like coaching a sport team.  Kids need to learn how to be a team player in the home just like they do when playing a game.   Everyone has their part to do and when one player acts up the whole team suffers.

Kids must understand that they don’t rule the nest, instead they must submit to their parents, it’s their duty to help around the house and they are obligated to do an honest job.   For kids to help their team succeed they need to practice doing the right things.    Parents train their kids to be successful in life by requiring chores to be done in a timely matter, do school work correctly, serve one another, obey rules, and respond to requests respectfully.

Strategies to Get You Started Today

When Kids Talk Back

  1. Parent stays calm and doesn’t respond in anger, instead parent requests child to stop what they are doing and think of a better response.
  2. Parent adds another job each time child back talks. This helps child practice doing what is asked and responding with a yes and can-do attitude.
  3. Parent tells child that they have five jobs for them to do that day and they need to do at least three. If they do their work with a good attitude they only do three and if they complain, make a mean comment, or argue they will have to do all five.

Kids need to do tasks around the home to help and they need to go about it as if they are on a mission to do decent work, by doing this they learn to appreciate what their parents do for them and this helps them care about treating their parents better.

If you would like a Coach to help you with parenting challenges please email me at lisadesign@comcast.net and join our email list for Parent Coaching updates.   I’d love to help you and your family be successful. 

 To learn more about my Parent Coaching Program click  on this following link – Coaching – Is Your Heart Troubled?   It’s in this post you will discover more about my approach, who I’m certified through, and the eight week Parent Training Program through the  National Center For Biblical Parenting          When you visit this sight you can download a free parenting eBook.

For Eight Week of Parent Coaching With Lisa Brown –  Sign Up


All my training to become a Certified Coach comes from Dr. Scott Turansky through The National Center for Biblical Parenting.  My parent tips are inspired by his teaching and the following reading material.


Great Parenting Books 

Parenting is Heart Work Book  Parenting is Heart Work Training Manual Motivate Your Child BookMotivate Your Child Action Plan  Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes, In You and Your Kids - Book


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Lisa Brown

Lisa is an aspiring writer with a mother's passion for Homeschool Education and is also a Parent Coach. She has an 9 yr. old son, a 7 yr. old daughter, and has been married to her husband for 10+ yrs.Prior to marriage, she worked over 20 yrs. enriching the lives of hundreds of children and families. Lisa has a Bachelors in Social Work and Early Childhood Education.
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