Overwhelmed by Your Child’s Explosive Emotions?
Some kids are born with an extra dose of emotions and their tendency to deal with their frustration is to react in anger, stomp off and yell at everyone around them. Parents often times are overwhelmed by their angry child’s explosiveness and it’s draining. However, there are parenting solutions that can be implemented. I’m excited to share these with you, bring you hope, and give a jump start on a plan of action. I’ve been in your shoes and I’m walking through some difficult times now with my son who has an extra dose of emotions. We are overcoming and I am here to show you how you can to.
Kids who struggle with anger typically want to change but are stuck. Their heart is not right and in order to help, parents must consider their child’s heart condition. Anger is not a bad thing, it’s how we deal with it. It’s important to understand the root cause of anger. Christians believe that it’s our sin nature. We become what we allow in our heart to settle and as selfish beings we need transformation. This happens when we ask God to change our heart.
Anger comes from expectations. Imagine for a second a bucket that is filled with anger. How did it get filled up? Kids get disappointed, sad, and grieve. It’s hard to overlook expectations and learn to be o.k. with not getting everything our way. When the bucket is full of anger it starts to spill out. It’s our job as parents to help our children empty their bucket from anger and train them to fill up with compassion, respect, honor, and love. When kids buckets are full of peace, patience, and kindness they overflow with cooperation and a desire to serve.
Why Is Disappointment so Hard?
Kids handle disappointments differently. Some hold on to their wants too tightly and that is all they can focus on. All their energy goes into one idea and they plan things to go a certain way. In many cases kids cannot be talked out of it and they stew in their disappointment unwilling to surrender.
Parenting isn’t about making life easy for kids. It’s about helping them learn to trust God in the midst of trials. Life is not always fair and kids have a tendency to get mad at their parents when they don’t get their way. The key is to not let their explosive anger change your mind or prevent you from setting firm rules.
The Good That Comes from An Extra Dose of Strong Emotions
I believe that God gives some of us an extra dose of strong emotions and He allows anger to be our weakness so that He can make us strong. God may not remove our anger, instead He requires us to endure life circumstances with a steady eye on Him and to trust Him. The kid who is quick to anger eventually learns self- control, long suffering, and overtime learns to surrender all to God with proper training.
This is a hard trial to walk through for any parent and child. The good news is, I have found some tools and strategies that work. As I mentioned above I’m working with my son and his anger, and he is coping so much better. His heart is filled with Christian truths, God’s word is changing his view, and he is working through his disappointments. Most importantly he is doing things for others and not always expecting things to go his way. We are work in progress.
Extra Challenges That Kids Are Faced With
There are kids who get easily frustrated because of sensory issues, learning struggles, and attention difficulties. They have to work harder and need patient parents to help them process intake information and learn to filter it out. It’s not easy and it’s exhausting for the parent who has constantly calm the storm and train their kid to problem solve without losing heart. One has to be very aware of the battle ground that sets a kiddo off and have a plan of action to help support them. I personally have an understanding of this with my own kiddo.
Parents need to know what is developmentally appropriate and not put more on kids then they are ready for. And just because a kid is a certain age they shouldn’t be compared to other kids their age nor be expected to react the same way.
Any kid who is diagnosed with a behavior, emotional, or mental problem or processing disorder need heart work and spiritual connection with the one and only true God. It’s by Christ’s love for us that we can live a healthy life through His grace. God’s spirit dwells in our Children’s lives and it’s in Him that we have hope.
I’ve worked with hundreds of children in many different settings. I’ve been a teacher, counselor, mentor and coach. I’ve worked in group homes, detention centers, inner city ministries and school settings. I’ve even been a Nanny to several families. I’ve seen all kinds of treatment approaches such as behavior modification, cognitive therapy, brain balance, play therapy, diet change and medicine. Over twenty years of professional and personal experience I can testify that these practices may be helpful but they are not solutions. Perhaps these interventions are affective but I firmly believe that every kid’s heart needs major attention and intervention too. Some kids may need several things to cope but all kids need heart work.
I’d love to share with you more about parenting kids with a heart base approach. If you are interested in learning about this please contact me – firstname.lastname@example.org
As a Christian I strongly believe that the Holy Spirit desires to dwell in every child’s life. He wants to provide strength for those who struggle with these kinds of challenges.
Let me share some ideas with you and I’m more than happy to explain them in detail with you during a phone call, email, over some coffee, and you can even leave a comment for further discussion in the comment section. Please sign up to join my email list so that you can receive our upcoming posts on this topic!!!
How to Bring Spiritual Truth in Our Kids Daily Lives
- Prayer is huge! Encourage kids to ask God – “Lord, what do you want me to do today for you?” Kids get in the habit of wanting more and wanting it now.
- Kids need help identifying when they feel anger and a plan of action. Show them how they can take their frustrations to God. You might suggest that they take a walk and talk with God, or sing to worship music, or pray. It’s important to have kids make their own plan of action and take responsibility to commit to it.
- Kids need to know who God is and parents can show them. We show them by sharing our stories and testifying about the wonderful things God has done and is doing.
- Pray together as a family and for one another for God’s strength. Ask kids to pray for you, this shows them that you need God’s intervention too.
- Make it very clear to your child why you enforce the rules you do. For example, stomping and yelling when you don’t get your way is not acceptable because in our home we problem solve and show honor to one another. Christians believe that acting in anger is foolish and that God calls us to be peacemakers.
- Serve as a family and help kids realize that others are in need and we can be part of the solution.
- Take Control Of Busyness. It’s hard to focus on spiritual matters at home when parents and kids are too busy. Make time for Bible stories, devotions and prayer.
I hope I shared something with you today that is helpful and that you feel hopeful. I am currently working on training to be a Parent Coach so keep an eye out for my coaching information. I will be starting my journey with parents in September and if you would like me to join you on your parenting journey please sign up to receive blog posts by subscribing. You can also email me for coaching information at email@example.com
Following is a link about my story with my son and how a heart base approach helped him. Need Help Getting Unstuck?
Great Parenting Books