Fight Like A Mom
What’s the one word all children seem to hate? The one word that can turn a perfectly sweet child from cute to chaotic? The one word that parents seem almost allergic to these days? No. That’s right, I said no. That is a word that children dread to hear and most parents resist saying, but should we really? Is telling them no really going to destroy them or crush their little spirits?
No is not a fun word in our house. When no comes out so does the tantrum. She cries, jumps, runs to the hall, it’s an ordeal, but I’m learning (yes, I had to learn this) to stick to my answer. She may pitch a fit and she may cry as loud as she can, but if I don’t establish boundaries now what will she know when she gets older? My no will be hallow and then what?
Fight for Them
Why do children need boundaries? Why do we, as parents, establish things that are off limits or not good for our children? It is because we don’t want them to get hurt, we want what is best for them and by prohibiting certain things we are protecting them. This is the same reason we are doing them no favors when we don’t stand our ground. Sure, they are going to throw fits, and cry and probably scream, but we aren’t just raising better kids we are raising kids that will grow into adults. If we waver now we risk losing them as they grow into teens and young adults.
My mom has taught me one constant ever since I got married and became a mom, “Pick your battles.” She has told me that there are some things you need to stand firm on and then others that may not be worth rocking the boat over. Something I have learned on my own is sometimes I am fighting with them and sometimes I am fighting for them. When we stand for them we accomplish a lot more than when we fight against them.
How do we fight for them? By establishing our authority as parents. When our children can see that we are fighting for them they begin to respect us.
Our life for the past few weeks has been crazy. We’ve traveled and stayed away for a week, my husband got a new job and E has been sick. There have been few constants and E has been using it to her advantage. She has pushed, stomped, screamed, cried, spit, everything. She has been fighting Mama hardcore. But, Mama is standing her ground because I remind myself I am fighting for her. I’m not just being a mean mom, I’m being a mom that stands for her and teaches her right from wrong.
The one thing that gets to us as parents many times is consistency. We begin strong and then waver because it can get so exhausting. We feel as if we are having to be on their case a million times a day and we just give up.
Mama, don’t give up. I know you don’t want to tell them no for the hundredth time today, but stand your ground. I know you don’t want to tell them to pick up their toys again or to put their dishes away or fold their clothes, but do it. Don’t do it for you do it for them. Be a fighting mom for them because one day when they spread their wings and leave the nest behind they will know what a clean house is, what doing laundry looks like and how to get a dish from the chair to the sink. Fight like a mom which is the best way in the world to fight because we fight for their future and we can’t give up on them. They are depending on us to teach them, train them, equip them and prepare them to fly solo one day.