Homeschooling by Heart Part 5
I stomped my feet, raised my voice, and ran from the room. Frustration didn’t even begin to describe how I felt. Despair, doubt. Fear. It boiled over into an adult size temper tantrum with four little pairs of eyes taking it in.
Can you relate? Do you have moments in your mommy career that are less than stellar? Do you wonder why these explosive moments come? Add homeschooling to the mix and somedays it’s the perfect storm because not only am I raising my kids but now I’m educating them as well.
Friends, the temper tantrum was real. I didn’t make it up or embellish it. For a period of time, it was a regular occurrence.
I love buts, don’t you?
But God. Well, that’s even better.
I knew my behavior didn’t honor him and it didn’t influence my kids for good. But it was a cycle that I hopped on and ran till I was exhausted (aka: ashamed) and vowed to never step foot on it again. Picture a hamster wheel. Only not fun to watch. But I kept jumping on that hamster wheel.
Until the day I saw fear in my kids’ eyes when they responded to my plea (again) for forgiveness.
I cried to God and he heard me and filled me with him, but it also hurt because I needed some major course correction.
He whispered to my heart: “Your frustration, your anger, your despair, your doubt, is rooted in mistrust. You don’t trust me with your heart, your kids, your days, or your future.”
God revealed that I trusted Him as long as things went my way. However, when I despaired over my children’s spiritual, educational, or interpersonal progress, I revealed my lack of trust.
As we conclude this Homeschooling by HEART series, we tackle the one thing that makes hearing, enduring, accepting, and resting possible: trusting.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV
Have we given our whole hearts to him or do we hold a little back believing we know best? Do we wrestle with trying to figure things out on our own and do we lean on him, ultimately knowing that he is best? Do we acknowledge him or do we want to be acknowledged for how well our kids are behaving or learning?
The answers to these questions reveal the areas where we need to grow in our trust.
Leaning on him and acknowledging him make trust possible, which makes Homeschooling by Heart possible.
As you homeschool remember our acrostic:
And if you’re struggling in any one of those areas, check your trust level. I can usually trace my struggles right back to a lack of trust in God. What we see is not always a true picture of what is. God works in hearts and behind the scenes, and we must trust his process.
Homeschooling is a difficult yet rewarding journey and despair, frustration, and anger can become our companions instead of trust. Let’s lean on him and acknowledge him together. And when we do, we will hear his voice, endure through trials, accept his will, and rest in him.
Thank-you for journeying with me through this series. Let’s homeschool by heart.
Other Posts From This Series Can Be Found Here
Latest posts by Jessica Van Roekel (see all)
- Homeschooling – What to Do When Your Expectations Disappoint - September 28, 2017
- Surrender and Trust – Stay On The Course That God Has You On - May 31, 2017
- Can Circumstances Be Holy? - May 17, 2017